Have You Ever Experienced HIRAETH or SAUDADE?

Hello Friends All Over the World; and a Very Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the USA! 

I hope that you are all enjoying quality time with your loved ones, regardless of where you live in the world.


As you know, I've been living in Southern Spain since June 2012.  This time last year I didn't seem to miss Thanksgiving as much as I do today, because my sister was visiting me from London. 


Interestingly, just this week I came across the Welsh word HIRAETH; pronounced 'heer-eyeth.' Listen to the sound here http://www.geiriadur.net/sain/hiraeth.mp3   Hiraeth seems to sum up how I've been feeling lately; and I'm wondering if you can relate too.  


The University of Wales online dictionary describes hiraeth as a feeling of "homesickness, tinged with grief or sadness after the lost or departed.  Longing, yearning, nostalgia, wistfulness, an earnest desire."
 

Another new word for me is SAUDADE, which is Portuguese; and it also fits how I've been feeling. Saudade means "the love that remains after someone has gone."  It can also describe feelings regarding a lost place and time in one's life; or an unrequited love for how one imagines a relationship or a place could be. In Brazil they even celebrate saudade, as an official national day, on January 30.


So hiraeth and saudade are both words that describe how I've been feeling for the past few months.  After having spent 36 years of my adult life in America, I feel sadness, grief, nostalgia, and a longing for everything that I left behind. At the same time, hiraeth and saudade are exactly what caused me to leave, and come back to Europe, so that I could live geographically closer to my family.


The ironic thing is that after having spent the summer exploring the possibility of living even closer to them in London, I found the day-to-day reality of life there very stressful.  Since I had to return to Spain for some medical tests anyway, I've decided to stay here until the next chapter of my life unfolds. 

What's important to me now is to live as stress-free of a life as possible; so that I can fully recover from my move to Spain, which really whacked my energy on all levels.  Acknowledging the hiraeth and saudade I feel is a huge part of 'My Healing Journey' that began at the end of May, and continues even now.  It's amazing how much has happened in these past few months, that has caused me to confront and let go of everything that I thought would make me feel safe and secure.  As painful as it has been to acknowledge that my safety nets were never really there to begin with, it has also been extremely freeing.  So I'm looking forward to the next chapter, as I feel lighter and ready to have more fun.

Observing myself in my muck; writing and talking about it; doing lots of Voice Movement Therapy/LifeSong Voicework; and also some EFT; have all served to get me through what could have been a much worse time.  I'm very thankful for my natural biochemistry, resilience; and optimistic outlook.  Without these inherent elements, and my supportive network of friends around the world, I would not be feeling as well as I do.


What has been your experience of hiraeth and saudade?  Can you relate to the meanings of these words?  Since many of us do not live in the same house, town, state, or even country that we were born in, both hiraeth and saudade must be present somewhere within each of us, even though it might be on an unconscious level.  So I'm curious.  Can you relate? 

To help you explore these and any other feelings that could be impacting your life in a challenging way, and to help you make sense of them so that they don't overwhelm you, I'm offering a Free Mini-Coaching Session to the first 10 people who ask for one.  And you don't have to be a new client either.  First come, first served, so contact me immediately if you'd like your session to be sooner rather than later.

Sending Love and Light to You

My First Broken Heart

Most of us have had our hearts broken many times.  The first time that I remember mine being broken was when I was 13.  He was a skinny, dark-eyed, brown-haired boy, who was the same age as me.  We met at the local indoor swimming pool.  Every Saturday that summer, we'd flirt with each other in a childish way; but only while in the tepid, chlorinated water.  We'd splash each other, and shyly laugh now and then.  We never touched, though my heart ached for hug.

I looked for him every week; and I was happy when I saw him smiling as he walked along the edge of the pool towards me. Then Saturday, he didn't show up.  I was devastated!  Hoping to see him, I kept going back to that pool; but I never saw that boy again. Soon the summer ended.  He was gone forever!
 
There were many other boys who also disappeared over the years, including my husband; and someone else who was important to me many years later in my life. Each time it happened, I was brokenhearted all over again!

I've thought about this pattern in my life; and I've worked hard to try and heal the wounds and scars that each experience has left on my heart. I've learned a lot about human nature, especially mine; and I've grown.

The most important thing I've learned is that I can't change other people; but I can change myself. I can make different choices. I can have stronger boundaries. I can learn to discern and acknowledge the signs and symptoms of inappropriate behavior. I can remove myself from these behaviors before I get trapped by my emotions, and my need to fix, or help, or understand too much.

Along the way, I've also learned that the first time my heart was broken was not when I was 13. It wasn't even when I was 10, and my family was separated from my father, by a continent, for 9 long months. It happened during the circumstances of my birth.  More about this next time...

When was your heart broken for the first time?  Tell me your story, and how it made you feel then.  Have you gotten over your heartbreak?  I hope so.

If not, I can teach you many innovative strategies that can help you change how you are feeling; so that you can attract who you really want into your life.   (For more information, see my Favourite Links below.)