A Valentine Gift: Healing Your Core Wounding

"Wounding and healing are not opposites.  They're part of the same thing.  It is our wounds that enable us to be compassionate with the wounds of others.  I think I have served people perfectly with parts of myself that I used to be ashamed of."  ~ Rachel Naomi Remen, MD

My Big Bro has a Special Gift for you at the bottom of this Blog.  However, it will make more sense after you've read my thoughts first.

My life's work has been about helping people heal from their Core Wounding; precisely because I am also wounded at my core.  I believe that all of us have a Core Wounding around which we make our decisions in life.  Some of those decisions are conscious, but most are unconscious.  Our Core Wounding can wreak havoc in our lives; yet this same wounding can also motivate us to change; and to help us change the world in some way.  So it can be a gift, as Dr. Remen shares above.


Once I'd discovered my own Core Wounding, and how it got set in motion, it gave me hope and healing. That's why I'd like to share some ideas, to help you identify and understand more about your own Core Wounding, and how it can serve you well.

Each time you feel the pang of emotional pain, that might be displayed as anger, anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive behavior, procrastination, feelings of entitlement, low self-esteem, etc., stop for a moment to identify the feeling that is in the layer right underneath.  Is it shame, sadness, jealousy, loneliness, guilt, worry, fear of lack, fear of neglect or abandonment?  Then ask yourself: "When was the first time that I ever felt this way?  I mean the VERY first time...and boom...you will uncover your Core Wounding!  Okay, good. But how do you heal your Core Wounding?

The trick is to recognize and acknowledge that you have a Core Wounding in the first place.  Having that consciousness, will help you catch yourself when your emotional pain gets the better of you.  The second important piece is to know that Everything IS in Divine Order; especially when your life experiences seem to reflect the opposite.  Believe me, this very consciousness has saved me from feeling completely helpless and hopeless, during certain painful life experiences I've had.  

Believing that Everything IS in Divine Order, gives me the opportunity to stop being a victim; and allows me the space and time to react differently.  Not from my pain and attachments; but from a place of acceptance and love for myself; and compassion for the other person(s) involved.


Since Everything IS in Divine Order, then the Universe is offering us a gift; an opportunity for healing.  Should we reject that gift, and take no lesson from the experience?  Perhaps we want to turn our back to the Universe, and feel angry and betrayed by it too.  Well that strategy might make us feel vindicated in the very short term; and I mean only for a few seconds, or perhaps minutes; but then the same old Core Wounding feelings return with a vengence; and that doesn't help us heal.  In fact, we might go even deeper into our Core Wounding; and the pain can be unbearable.  So what can we do instead? 

Well, I'm the last person to tell you not to express the full extent of your feelings. In fact, I coach people to do just the opposite in my "Singing Your HeART Out!" Program, which is not about being a singer, by the way.  We actually exaggerate the pain, in order to release it; so we can come to a place of peace, love, and joy within ourselves. Trust me, it's the most fun you'll ever have in a therapy session. LOL!  (I can work with you via Skype, or in person.)


Taking responsibility for, and releasing your pain in a manner that is accepting and respectful towards yourself, will have beneficial outcomes in all your relationships.  So this is not about unleashing your anger on the other person; or making them feel guilty. It's about looking inwards, acknowledging your Core Wounding, and taking very good care of yourself, so that the pain can ease. 

Thank the Universe for the Opportunity to Heal. Count Your Blessings. Feel Gratitude. Cultivate Your Ability to Feel Compassion and Empathy for Others. Surround Yourself with Supportive People. Wish Everyone the Very Best.  Recognize that You Are Not Alone. You Are Part of The Collective Unconscious.  You Are Connected to the Universal Energy of Humanity, Light, Love, and The Circle of Life.

Be Well.  Be Happy.  Be LIGHT.  Be LOVE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now my brother is going to help me do some LifeSong® Voicework with you; though he doesn't know it.  Well he will, when he reads this : ) 

Enjoy this Bob Dylan song, Make You Feel My Love, magnificently sung by my Big Bro Lenny Zakatek    Like on FB http://www.facebook.com/lennyzakatek

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4Xd5rrXDFs


When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

Listen to the song several times; and sing along with Lenny.  Find the lyrics here
http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/make-you-feel-my-love


Each time you sing it, begin hearing the meaning of the song differently; as if you were singing to your Core Wounded Self; Your Inner Child; Your Baby Self who may have felt alone, sad, frightened, angry, let down, abused, neglected, or betrayed; and has carried those feelings into adulthood. Sing Loudly. Sing Softly. Even sing Off Key and Off Tempo if you like. Improvise. There are no rules about how you sing.

Hug yourself while you are singing.  Get a Teddy Bear or a Pillow to hold.  Move around your room to release the energy. Cry it out, Scream it out. Laugh it Out!  I want to hear you Singing your HeART Out!

Let me know how you get along.  Add your experiences in the Comments here and/or on my FB page Singing Your Heart Out with Chris Platel.  

Let's share the gift of Healing Core Wounding.
 
Happy Valentine's  XO

I Am Here!

"The human voice is the primary medium of communication in human beings. It is an expression of who we are and how we feel. In the timbre of a person's voice you can hear the subtle music of feeling and thought. The ever-shifting collage of emotions, to which we are all prey, colours the voice with tones of happiness, excitement, depression or grief."

Paul Newham, Developer of Voice Movement Therapy

  Floating in warm liquid.

Here I am!

My eyes are closed.

Here I am!

My heart beats faster, as I hear muffled sounds around me.

I'm ready!

My mother is laughing and talking.

I'm here! I'm ready!

There's another rhythmic, melodic sound.

I'm here!

Other voices I've heard before, but not often.

Can you hear me?

I'm ready! I'm here!

I am here!

I am here!

I am hea-aaaa-re!

I am hea-aaaaaaaa-rrre!

I am hea-aaaa-aaaa-aaaaa-rrrre!

I-I-I-I aaaa-mmmm hea-aaaa-aaaa-rrre!

I-I aa-mm hea-aa-rre

I aa-mm hea-rre

I aa-m hea-re

I am here

I'm here

I'm…here...

I'm...

waiting to be born...

I am still waiting to be born. Waiting to be held in my mother's arms. Waiting to feel safe and secure. Waiting. I'm always waiting. 

Somebody please hear me! Know that I'm here. Know that I need to be heard; and feel connected. 

Where are you? When will you come? Will you stay? Can I depend on you? If I tell you what I need, will you leave me? 

Silence. No response. After a while I stopped asking. My breath became shallow. I shut down my voice.

I wrote the above after doing a 'Voice Movement Journey' one Spring morning in 2008. Over the years, I’d done extensive emotional work both from a psychotherapeutic and a bodywork perspective. I also was well aware of my family of origin issues; but I'd never done any direct work on my blocked, shut-down voice.

I was 'painfully' shy as a child, and all through my teens and twenties. It was hard for me to ask for what I needed, regardless of whether the relationship was personal or business. It was especially difficult to ask for my needs to be met within the family. I tended to focus more on what other people needed; and I've even made a career out of doing just that.

Though I grew up in a musical family, I didn't even sing much. Every gathering naturally including singing; but I never sang out loud. I mostly lip-synched. Very rarely, I'd let a small, quiet sound come from my throat for a few lyrics; and then my voice would shut down completely. 

 

I've traced this reactive pattern of shutting down my voice to my birth trauma of the 'Baby-Waiting-to-Be-Born.'

I'm not absolutely sure why Mum delayed going to the hospital when her water broke. The family story is that she was at home, playing cards with friends, and she had a winning hand! (Feel free to insert your nervous laughter here.)  Since I was her second child maybe she remembered the pain of labor; and wanted to avoid it for as long as possible.  What I do know, is that I've often felt "stuck" and "held-back" from emerging into life fully.

This pattern shows up in different areas of my life. I'm always bursting with ideas, that need birthing, and I do manifest plenty of them; sometimes at a great cost physically and/or emotionally. I'm ready; but I have to push through obstacles, challenges, road-blocks, and they can leave me feeling depleted. But I never give up. I'm patient; and if pushed down, I bounce back. 

I had no choice but to be born. I couldn't stay stuck in the birth canal. I couldn't give up!  And that's how I've approached my life. I always find the strength, courage, and resilience to keep going so my idea can be birthed; and I can say: "I AM HERE!"

Are you birthing your ideas?  If you're not Singing Your Heart Out, or Shouting from the Mountain Top about them, then why not?

Let me help you get "unstuck" so that you can birth your ideas and dreams, whatever they might be.

Chris : ) 

P.S. Have a read of David Chamerblain's ground-breaking book on pre- and perinatal psychology. The title used to be "Babies Remember Their Birth."  They changed it to "The Mind of Your Newborn Baby."  You can find it in my bookstore on the 2nd page: http://www.consciousconnections.com/shop.html
 
From Publisher: "Dr. Chamberlain writes compellingly about the newborn's sensitivity, awareness, and vulnerability. He emphasizes the importance and power of the infant-and-parent connection during pregnancy and after birth. When the information in this book becomes common knowledge, we will look at our children with new respect and understanding."